Me and my Monkeys..

~ Robbie Williams

I am feeling better and worse at the same time. All those new meds and the Radiation seem to have calmed my monkeys down a bit. No more playing whack-a-mole on my head with Nerf baseball bats for them all the time. Or firering random blunt fireworks (aka MI legal ones) inside my brain.

But than they got gloomy. They steal people out of my head! I remember that Enterprise Episode where more and more people from the crew disappeared. And noon seemed to wonder. But I do wonder. I could have sworn there were people around me a second ago who knew exactly what is going on. Someone I could relay on, trust. There was someone running by! Where did he go?? Someone?? Or was that me?

It is so nice and calming here. This wide open white room and this couch look really comfy. Now I remember. I will lay down there and snuggle up in the plush blanket. Nice and warm. Just relax and everything will be fine.

And I am back. Fell asleep during the Eureka Season Finale. One of my many new power naps I drift into randomly during the day. Just another stupid dream. Reed is sitting there smiling at me. He is here. He knows what is going on and what to do. But I am still scared. I don't like to forget stuff. I don't want to loose brain function, brain cells, short term memory and what not. And my head hurts again. This strange pressure on my brain. Time for more meds. Anti seizure and high dose steroids. Those are coming with night sweats, chills, dizzies. Or they are the side effects from what else is going on in my head.

But at least I am awake. I am here. This is my universe! Beat it, Monkeys! There is my cell phone. All these names and numbers in there. They all know me. They are all here for me. And I am thankful. I will hold on to it. I can do this.